We'll Guess How Long You've Been Single Based On How You Eat These Foods!

By: Zoe Samuel
Image: SHutterstock

About This Quiz

Being single isn't a single state, but a process. There are the first few months of singledom, in which you celebrate your freedom and perhaps let certain household chores slide because no one is watching you. Soon, these treats become habits, and other things begin to change. By the time you're leaving your clothes to dry in heaps on every chair in the house, you've been single long enough, and it's time to reassess things.

Sherlock Holmes could glean a person's occupation from his shoes, their hometown, their fingernails, their tastes in music, and from their hairstyle. Out focus will be much narrower. We intend to determine, to the day, how long you have been single. We will do this without talking to your friends, perusing your social media, or even looking at you. We will determine this entirely through one habit which changes with time spent on the meat market: your eating.

How fast you eat says something about how you habitually satiate your desires. What you eat says something about the quality of the people you surround yourself with. How you approach a meal says something about your ability to negotiate, breaking down a problem and taking it on piece by piece.

So spend a meal with us, and we'll tell you how long you've been single, from how you eat!

How do you lay into a pizza?

How do you consume a burger?

How do you handle a hot dog?

How do you slurp down wonton soup?

How do you scarf spaghetti?

How do you masticate moussaka?

How do you celebrate your sweet potato fries?

How do you dress down a jacket potato?

How do you demolish a sundae?

How do you skeletonize a roast chicken?

How do you eat a burrito?

How do you take your cereal?

How do you tuck into a tuna salad sandwich?

How does your inner child dismantle a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

How do you pull apart a pulled pork sandwich?

How do you slice into a steak?

How do you enjoy a bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon?

Do you like your brunches boozy?

How do you dig into French toast?

How do you divide and conquer pancakes?

How do you eat chicken fried rice?

How do you eat an ice cream cone?

How do you eat General Tso's chicken?

How do you roll up an egg roll?

How do you enjoy your pain au chocolat?

How do you eat Oreos?

How do you enjoy a crème brûlée?

How do you eat bacon?

How do you eat yogurt?

How do you eat chicken tikka masala?

About Zoo

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